Dear Miss E.,
My god, you are six months old. How did that happen? And where have I been? I guess I have been here all along, though I can hardly remember now how small you were when you were first born. I think I offended the mother of a six-week-old at playgroup a few weeks ago when I kept exclaiming over and over again, "He's so little! I forgot how small they are!" and she repeatedly assured me that he is actually quite big for his age. Just wait till she sees what she's in store for! What a lovely age six months is--you are all broad smiles and toothy grins and sunshine and personality and personality and personality.
You have decided that our beagle, Mandy, is your new best friend. She often accompanies us upstairs for your first nap for the day (oddly never the second) and your evening bath, and now, as we head up the stairs, you crane your neck over my shoulder to see if Mandy will be joining us. When you eat your meals in your Bumbo seat on the coffee table, you extend your little hands for Mandy to lick. And, unfortunately, you drop things on the floor that she is happy to retrieve--and eat. Your daddy came home the other day to find a sippy cup in the dog bed. And Mandy, by extension, has learned with the advent of solid foods that you are not all bad and do not exist simply to make her miserable. I have a feeling that you and Mandy will be quite unstoppable together in the future.
There is a lot I didn't know about babies before you were born. I thought I knew about babies--well, I knew I liked babies anyway--and I have to say that I know that I am incredibly lucky, but you have mostly been one big pleasant surprise. I had no ideas babies were so sunny. I didn't know you'd smile so much, love me with such intensity, or be so easy to please. I think I sort of had a vague notion that all babies had colic. That they had colic and never slept and rarely smiled and were basically just grueling effort until they were a year old or so. Instead, I find myself lamenting the fact that you only get to be a baby for such a short amount of time. Rationally, I knew that babies started walking and saying words at around a year old but I never really thought about babyhood being so fleeting.
I have worried a lot about going back to work and when that might happen and whether or not I identify myself as a stay-at-home mom, but once I realized how short this time in your life is, I am really grateful to be able to be home with you. I know that you would be perfectly happy and healthy and safe in somebody else's care, but then I would miss this special time with you and so for selfish reasons I'm glad we're in a position where I can be with you all day and not miss a thing. However, I do worry that you will become so attached to me that when I do decide to go back to work it will be really hard on you, so just this week Kate and I (another mother from the playgroup) hired a nanny to watch you and Grady two mornings a week. Kate actually works full time but Grady goes to his grandmother the rest of the week, so she asked if you would be interested in joining Grady for two mornings because we thought the two of you might be a good influence on each other. Grady is only 11 days older than you but he is already crawling and climbing and generally making trouble, so I'm hoping he'll encourage you to do the same. You are rolling now and starting to sit and occasionally considering that you someday might like to crawl (or "swim") but for the most part you are content to lie on your back, pull off your socks or suck on your feet, and smile, smile, and smile. I'm thinking Kate's hoping some of your stillness will rub off on Grady as well!
In any case, my little moo, mostly what I wanted to tell you this month is what a pleasant surprise it has been to be your parents. I completely understand why people want to do this all over again. We love you to bits.
Love,
Mama and Daddy
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