Rivaling Marley for World's Worst Dog

I just wrote this note for our holiday house sitters and realized how insane (but true) it sounds:

Special Addendum Re: Mandy

Hello,

Just a few words of warning about Mandy: First off, she can climb the spiral staircase (Simon can’t) and may try to sleep with you. Just tell her to “go to bed” and she should retreat back downstairs to the dog bed she shares with Simon.

She also likes to rifle through the trash. Be sure to keep the child lock on the trash in the kitchen at all times or you may come home to a kitchen littered with the contents of the bin. Also, we keep the bins in the downstairs bathroom and master bath on top of the toilet for the same reason. (She also likes to rummage through the Diaper Genies, but that shouldn’t be a problem.)

She loves coffee. If you leave your coffee cup unattended for even a second, she will drink it. She has been known to stand on the toilet to drink it from the bathroom counter.

She can climb and jump to retrieve food off of countertops, which is why we keep the kitchen chairs stacked up (but feel free to unstack and use—just restack before you leave Mandy alone). More than once, she has jumped onto a chair and then either the kitchen table or countertop to steal food.

She loves flavored medicine, which poses a health risk (emergency numbers of side of fridge facing microwave). Examples of things she has eaten in the past year: An entire bottle of Tums (stolen out of my purse), an entire package of cough drops (stolen from the brick mantel in the living room), gum (which can be dangerous for dogs), an entire bottle of Simon’s pain medicine (in a child-proof container on the counter), which landed her on IV fluids in the hospital for two days. She will also dig through bags and purses, so if there is food, gum, or medicine in your bag, put it high up. She will even attempt to steal food out of your hands. A very firm “no” will usually stop her. You might want to keep bedroom doors closed during the day as well.

She is sweet dog and responds well to commands (“No”, “Sit”, “Come”, “Lie down”). She is just full of energy and very, very motivated by food.

If they get to be too much for you, just let me know and I’ll call the dog walker to come take care of them.

Thank you and good luck!

.

Would you still come to my house?

Comments

[mara]

Don't worry. The first time we had a sitter for Adena we followed the template of what to include from "What to Expect in the First Year" and wound up with a 4 page typed document . . . Have a happy Christmas!

[mihow]

I would totally still come to your house. Happily. What a character these creatures are! Love it.

[Lacey Jane]

I would bring my dog to play with your dog and they would be great friends.

Sara's first year with us she consumed:
christmas tree ornaments (note: glass bulbs)
a razor (note: not the plastic part. the actual razor)
any and all shoes (note: only the shoes we liked)
along with various other NON EDIBLE items. 4 years later and she's still around, although her diet has calmed with age...

Happy Holidays!

[Becca]

I just found your blog and this made me LAUGH!!! I have two dogs like this!!!