KidKate

Mirena

Anybody have any experience with this? Particularly anybody who has difficulty taking hormones? I've tried practically every brand of the Pill, as well as the Patch, the mini-pill, Depo, and more (side effects abound on all) but have heard good things about Mirena. Anybody?

.

UPDATE: Spoke with my new OB/GYN and she thought it would be a good choice since I am still breastfeeding and it only emits a tiny amount of hormone (a fraction of Depo and the others). Also I got a lot of positive feedback about it from people on the parents' list serv I belong to, so I think I'm going to go for it.

I think I love my husband

For Christmas, among other small things like books and music, Yan got me a couple of gift certificates; one for Sunglass Hut and one for Banana Republic.  Sunglass Hut because he knew that I'd broken my old sunglasses, and even though I would never pay the $100 plus they usually charge for designer frames at that store, he wanted me to treat myself. And Banana Republic because pre-London (where they don't have the much beloved Banana) and pre-baby Banana Republic was one of my favorite stores. That, and he's probably tired of seeing me in my rotating three postpartum outfits. (Aside: The weight has come off, but I am still a good size or two above my pre-pregnancy size. Normal? I'm wondering if I'm just ... swollen.)

Today he went into the office for a few hours but suggested that Ellie and I meet him for lunch at the Inner Harbor, where we could use my gift certificates. I told him I was only planning to use the one for Sunglass Hut and that I'd save the Banana one for when I go back to work or for a special occasion. So, after lunch, I headed to Sunglass Hut while he and Ellie took a spin around the mall. After purchasing my new shades, I met the two of them outside.

"Let's go to Banana Republic."

"Nah, I don't really need anything right now and you should get back to work."

"But they have wrap dresses!" Yan's obsession since we became such avid Project Runway fans. "C'mon, they have these really pretty dresses that I think would bring out your eyes."

Yan led me into Banana to show me this rather loud but not distasteful dress. He held it up to my face, then made me go to a mirror to do the same. (Aside: I do not have neon green eyes.)

"It's nice," I said and made an obligatory circuit around the store. See, I'd tried this once before in Houston. I'd missed shopping there for a year while we were in London only to come back and find out that a stay-at-home mom (at least this stay-at-home mom) has very little use for cashmere, silk, and little black dresses. Plus, nothing really fit. I felt lumpy.

I made my way out of the store.

"But what about the wrap dresses?"

"Um, well. I don't really need anything. We'll come back next time you have a work function."

"At least try them on."

"I just ate. And I'm between sizes. I don't have the confidence right now."

"Please."

So I trudged back into the store and tried on the green one and another blue one. Ellie and Yan accompanied me to the dressing room so I wouldn't have to model for the whole store.

"Get in the 360 mirror!" Somebody's also apparently been watching What Not to Wear.

I agreed that the big, graphic print on the green dress was nicer than I would have thought.

"I love it! What do you think?"

"Um, I like it, I guess. If you like it I'll get it. But it's not really practical. I have nowhere to wear it."

"I'll buy it for you. You don't have to use your gift certificate."

"Really?" This was a surprise because we've been trying to save our money and particularly not spend it on anything frivolous. An hour before he had refused to buy himself some on-sale work shirts. He could have gotten two or three shirts for work for the price of that dress.

"Yes, I really want you to have this. To have something nice for yourself. You deserve it."

"OK, if you really want to."

"I do."

And that's how I ended up with a large-print, borderline-neon green, faux wrap dress. I'm thinking of donning it with a vacuum cleaner and a martini. You know, just to be ironic. Or, Yan could take me on a date.

Yeah, the second one. I really do like the dress.

12 weeks to the day

We had "the excitement." I think this means I am finally fully recovered, yes?

How long did you wait to, erm, resume relations?

The Recovery, Part II

I might as well call this portion "the epidural." But let me back up...

It took me six weeks before I could sit down comfortably after I had Ellie. Some days, I would go entire days without sitting at all. Other days, I'd plan the times I'd need to sit down that day. Did I have a lunch date? Did I want to watch America's Next Top Model with my husband? I tried to sit no more than two hours per day, better if it were broken up. The upside was that with all that breastfeeding in bed--on my side--I got a lot of reading done, a relief after months and months of pregnancy brain.

As you may know, the reason my recovery was so difficult was because I had a forceps delivery, which required a large, painful "extended episiotomy," which is a special incision used to accommodate the forceps. I also had a pretty serious tear, which they were afraid would affect my ability to go to the bathroom on my own (I only found this out later, thank God). It didn't.

Now let me back up even further...

I was induced and I had an epidural. Both are said to increase the chances of a forceps delivery and c-section. At every stage, I discussed the possibility of these outcomes with my doctor, and at every stage he reassured me (rightly so, I believe). Just before the pushing stage, I asked both the doctor and the midwife if I should let the epidural wear off so that I could feel myself pushing. I had a mobile epidural, which is a weaker form than the old spinal blocks, and they both emphatically said no. The doctor said that while it was my decision, if I chose to let the epidural wear off now I'd be in a tremendous amount of pain, and that if I choose to top it up again he could teach me how to push. I agreed.

Here is how he taught me how to push: He held onto my arm, looked me in the eyes and said, in his very proper English accent, "I want you to push like you're going to crap the bed."

It wasn't bad. I could still feel the contractions, though they weren't painful, and since I could remember how to, well, take a crap, I pushed with all my might. I couldn't tell if I was making any progress, but all three (the doctor, midwife, and Yan) assured me that I was doing very well. Yan told me later that he could see the results as I was pushing.

About 20 minutes into pushing, my doctor said, "You're pushing really well but the baby keeps sliding back up, so I'll need to hold on to her while you push." They told Yan to put on a pair of scrubs and wheeled me into the operating theater, where they gave me a full spinal block, performed the incision, inserted the forceps, and, three pushes later, Ellie was born.

I was feeling pretty proud of myself after the birth--Yan told me I pushed really well and everybody kept saying how great it was that I didn't have a c-section (we had come very close to it, and at one point I thought I might prefer it) and the midwife said that now that I'd delivered an 8-pound baby vaginally any future births would be really smooth. It wasn't until a few days after the birth when I started experiencing a lot of pain that I started second guessing myself. Had I done something to cause all this pain? Could it have been avoided? Would a c-section have been preferable after all?

A health visitor who came to the house to check on the progress of the baby and me (standard practice in England) took a look at my discharge paperwork and said, "Ah. You had lift-out forceps. That's because of the epidural."

When I took the baby in to my old job, when I told one of the women I work with that I'd had a forceps delivery, she said, "Oh, because of the epidural?"

I started to panic a little. Could I have avoided all this pain if I hadn't had the epidural? Hadn't been induced?

After weeks of Googling and reading and reliving the experience, I finally got up the nerve to ask my doctor at our last visit, my six-week postnatal check. Timidly I asked, "Is there anything I could have done to avoid the forceps? Was it the epidural?"

He put down his prescription pad (was writing me a prescription for the Pill), looked at me intently and said, "Sweetie. Nobody could have pushed better than you. You did an amazing job."

And just like that, I was cured. I could even sit again! It's funny how we beat ourselves up over the birth of our children. Funny, how all along, I'd said that if I needed a c-section in the end, I'd be totally fine with it, so long as Ellie was delivered safely.  But after more than 12 hours of labor when my doctor said it may go in that direction, I burst into tears. I still wish I had been able to deliver my baby without the use of forceps, but you know what? In the end, it just doesn't matter.

.

Postscript: I don't mean to scare you preggos out there--for one thing, I had a forceps birth, which is not that common, and for another, I am much, much better than I was. So much better. In fact, when I saw my doctor he said, "Last time I saw you, you were limping. This time you bounded up the stairs." (Actually, I was happy to see him. I love that man.)

Aside: Just so you know it's not that kind of love, here is a picture of he and Ellie:

He has a granddaughter who is seven weeks older than Ellie. Now that that's cleared up. Ahem.

Meet McBaby: A birth story in pictures

Meet McBaby, originally uploaded by KidKate.

I've finally gotten round to uploading these photos (took me a while to edit out the gratuitous boob shots--be warned, there are still one or two) and she's already a month old and changed so much. Ah, well.

.

PS: I'll probably change the access to these photos after a few days. But for now, please enjoy!

The Recovery

Apologies for the radio silence but damn, why didn't anybody tell me the recovery would be so rough? Four weeks post-birth and I can still barely sit down. Of course, nobody could have known that I'd require a forceps delivery, and since I didn't read that far ahead in the baby books (doh!) I didn't know about the required "extended episiotomy" with a forceps birth or the fact that I'd likely tear badly, but dude, even in all ten hours of my prenatal classes there was scant mention of the recovery process, even for a c-section. (Which I assume is worse than this, except for the sitting down thing. While I'm on it, does anybody know how hard it is to breastfeed when you can't sit? That leaves standing and feeding or laying down and feeding, and while the latter is easiest on my anatomy it sure does get monotonous.)

Anyway, four weeks out and I've graduated from tons of painkillers and in constant pain to just sore and on one painkiller twice a day. Did I mention I also had  post-partum hemorrhage? The funny thing about all this is that the birth was quite tolerable. I got the epidural early-ish in the process and felt very little pain from then on out. The induction process was long (my doctor said my labor went on about 6 hours longer than average, though it was basically in line with my expectations--call me a cynic) but was more exhausting than painful. And when it came time to push, it only took three pushes with the help of the forceps to get her out. (I'm skipping some things here but am working on that piece of it separately.)

So, my point is this: The birth? Not so bad. The recovery? Mildly hellish, considering that there's a tiny, hungry, dependent little being thrown into the mix now. Though look at her:

Totally worth it, don't you think?

We're all home!

Eleanor Frances McBaby, aka Ellie, was born on September 15, 2007 at 12:05 pm GMT, weighing in at 8 pounds and 3 healthy ounces. She's named for two great ladies--Yan's great-aunt Ellie and my great-grandmother Frances.

She had to be convinced to make her appearance via forceps but we narrowly escaped a c-section, for which (we think, as it is quite difficult to sit down!) we are grateful.

Updates and more pictures to come as soon as I can comfortably sit again.

To each her own

Ever since NewlyWifed posted this, it's thrown me into a mild panic attack. You see, I had already made the decision not to wax. In fact, I've never been professionally waxed in that particular region. Yes, I've shaved--electric and traditional--used depilatories, waxed at home, trimmed, etc. The whole gamut, really, short of having somebody do it for me.

A few of reasons for this:

1) I have incredibly sensitive skin and about the only thing that doesn't cause red, angry welts (and I am only talking about a bikini wax here, nothing more) is a not-very-close shave using an electric razor

2) I don't grow an excessive amount of hair there. I mean, if I forgot to shave before going to the beach (which I promise I don't--well, at least not regularly), I could tuck it in pretty easily and inconspicuously, so it's not a huge issue for me

3) It's not an issue for my husband at all. In fact, if I came home with one of those kooky Brazilian things, I don't think he'd know what to do with me (gotta love that man)

Also, and I know that I am really, really in the minority here, I'm not even sure why people bother shaving their legs and getting pedicures before going into labor. I mean, there is a lot of shit going on down there (blood, fluid, sometimes poop, not to mention the BABY) and why anybody thinks any doctor worth his or her salt would be judging your satin legs or condition of your toenails is beyond me.

But then there's another way to look at this. I think, as women, we are more concerned with not grossing anybody out rather than trying to impress. It is one of the few things we can control during labor, after all, and if it makes us feel better, well, then, why the hell not?

So here's where I stand the day before my induction--and yes, it has taken me five long weeks of maternity leave to reach this conclusion:

1) Today I go in for a pedicure and a lower leg wax (lower only (!), though I don't really grow hair above my knees anyway). I finally decided that this is worth pursuing because I will  have no time after the wee one is born for pedicures and leg-shavin'. And let's face it, I'm pretty lazy about leg-shavin' to begin with. But it's for me, get it? Not the doctor! (This is what gets me through the night)

2) As it is too late to commit to a bikini wax (not enough time to heal) and I am entirely too chicken to have somebody other than my doctor that close to my girly bits at this point, I will groom my own lady parts using my trusty electric razor, thank you very much. This is, um, for me too.

Sellout.

.

PS: I check into the hospital tomorrow at 11 am GMT and hope to have a baby sometime on Saturday. With any luck, I'll be back in the saddle Sunday or Monday and will post updates and pictures then. Cheers!

40 weeks and counting

Some random thoughts before my induction this Friday morning (whee!):

• We have no water today, so I am watching what I eat very, very carefully so that I don't have to, you know, go No. 2
• You know how they say that once you have a baby, you wear your heart on the outside of your body? Well, Yan seems to be going through that this past week, and it is so nice. Seriously, though, he's like a pin cushion. One that bruises easily. I think he's going to be a great father
• I just got word that two people I know had their babies. I hope this means I'm next!
• Tomorrow I'm meeting a woman from my prenatal class for lunch in central London. Hopefully the strength of our combined pregnancy hormones will cause us both to go into labor
• I have mixed feeling about being induced. On the one hand, it's nice to be able to plan in advance--I've got the dog walker set up, the car service booked, my hospital bag ready to go--but I'm worried about an extra long, extra painful labor and any increased risk to the baby
• Weirdly, I've been feeling really good since this weekend. I'm not exactly nesting (I may be too lazy for that, though I am still making slow progress with housework and baby projects) but I feel a lot more energetic and I am not as tired or as uncomfortable as I have been. I even managed to eat two big meals without regretting it. I hoped this was a sign of labor--but nothing yet
• Some people, like Yan, feel like their babies are safer on the inside, where all their needs are automatically met, but I feel like she will be safer once she's in my arms where I can see her
• After being in an optimal position since about 30 weeks, I fear the baby may now be in the OP position, which can make for a very long, very painful labor
• As long as she is healthy, I don't care how she gets here or even if she ends up being a boy. I just want to hold her in my arms!

Induction to parenthood

...will hereby begin either next Friday or Saturday night at 10 pm (depending on what the hospital has available). I am expected to check in, begin the induction with prostaglandin gel to ripen the cervix, and get a decent night's sleep. The following day we get busy hopefully with no further interventions but possibly with a oxytocin hormone drip, and with any luck, we will be bringing home a baby either Saturday the 15th or Sunday the 16th. Both fine days for a birthday, I should think.

(I am still not any more dilated. Which is to say, I am not dilated at all.)

(Bless my doctor, for he will induce on the weekend.)

That's all I got for now. I am so ready.

What, you couldn't tell?